How South Asians can Benefit from Counseling
The misconceptions South Asians have about seeking therapy and the examples / reasons to go to therapy.
How People Pleasing Thrives in South Asian Communities
People Pleasing behavior thrives in South Asian communities because of our underlying collectivist culture and the impact of colonialism where we prioritize and emphasize everyone over ourselves as individuals and have an inferiority complex from colonial trauma respectively. These manifest in our cultural norms which add fuel to this intergenerational trauma fire. Cultural norms like fighting over the check at restaurants, giving up your bed for your guest, and making major life decisions based on what parents want to name a few.
10 Tips to Finally Stop People Pleasing
Is being a people pleaser hurting you or helping you? Let’s take a look at this latest buzz words that’s all over IG and TikTok and let’s talk about what is it, where does it come from, what are the 10 signs of a people pleaser, and 10 tips on how to stop people pleasing.
Appreciating “And”
Do you ever think if one thing is true then the other automatically can not be true?
This is called all-or-nothing thinking. The cognitive distortion that a statement is either all true or not at all true. I’ll give you an example. I made a mistake at work the other day and I had a brief thought of “I’ve learned nothing, I can’t believe I did that”. My first thought was to assume I was incompetent/stagnant in my growth. This made me feel so powerless. But then I stopped and challenged that thought. I put it on trial and investigated evidences for and against it.
The Bicultural Experience
I am a bilingual First-Generation Indian-American (partially practicing) Hindu woman. I, like a lot of your bi-cultural folk, am neither Indian nor American. I don’t belong to one group. I’ve been rejected by Indians for being too American in my accent, personality, preferences, lifestyle etc. I’ve been rejected by American’s as too Indian in the other aspects of my personality, preferences, and lifestyle etc.
Not having a larger group to anchor ourselves to can make us feel lonely and untethered. We all have a need for belongingness. But where do we belong if both part’s of our identities reject us as not being like them enough?